TooManyFlowers

My kids regularly compete in competitions in Highland Dancing and Pipe Drumming

They fare well usually but once in a while we are struck with the “COMPETITIVE FAILURE SYNDROME” (CFS)  my name!!

You know………….”Why aren’t I good enough?”, “Why does she win all the time?”, “I am just hopeless”, “I want to win a medal too”

Each of my children have gone through this CURVE,

Interestingly enough it also went hand in hand with the “BAD SPORT SYNDROME” (BSS)

You know that one too………………”I want to win!!”, “That’s not fair, she won……” , “He is such a show off”

I am challenged EACH time I am faced with the syndromes……here are some thoughts that have evolved over 17 years and a teaching background………….

As a mum my heart reaches out to my kids when they suffer from CFS or BSS, sometimes it does not seem fair that their legs do not run fast enough or they cannot step or co-ordinate as fast as another child……..their heart cry breaks my heart as they compare themselves with their peers and strangers………

BUT

As an educator and a spiritual/moral development supervisor I have a choice, I can yield to their heart cry and be sorry that their pride/self concept has been deflated or choose to use this experience as a platform to teach them what “winning” really means.

For this reason I embrace the Olympics and regularly do projects on the Olympics with my kids, I think it is great for my kids to see athletes compete to see people win and loose at this HIGH level is a treat.

Most athletes at this stage have learnt how to deal with failure they carry themselves with integrity and honour, this is a pleasure to see. What I find inspiring is the stories BEHIND the athletes…..the YEARS of training, the YEARS of sacrifice, the YEARS of pushing themselves to new heights……it is no surprise that the Apostle Paul uses the picture of an athlete to represent spiritual growth and maturation.

My dad also has had years of playing sport at a competitive level, as a league football player he has won and failed. He has coached and developed younger boys in the sport, and regularly teaches my kids the importance of winning and loosing with a GOOD spirit.

As a teacher I admit I do have mixed feelings about competition…….it can be of great good BUT great evil if not handled correctly. I have seen people permanently scarred by being forced to do sports where they ONLY failed, or were heartlessly ridiculed by peers for failure……even some who have succeeded have had scars…….I was taught that everyone should win and you make ALL children winners in their own right, you know give everyone a trophy or NO-ONE…….

BUT

I have had to come to see that in reality we work on a REWARD basis in the world/work and school system………we earn the right to go to University through study, we earn the right to promotions in work by working and performing well, we earn the right to gold medals in the Olympics by sheer hard work and talent………………

So we really must train our kids to win and be rewarded in a RIGHT WAY and also fail and be disappointed in a RIGHT WAY!!!

But there is a factor I feel we may miss in our world………

We HAVE to find where our kids are going to achieve, there is no point in making a square peg fit in a round hole, we must, we must, we must find the round kid peg for the round kid hole. We must find where our kids succeed and focus on that, help them to succeed and rise……………

I am convinced that children, boys especially, will ALWAYS be competitive, it is in their nature and even genetics!! But how they win and how they cope with failure in these early days will mould and shape who they are in the future. They need to learn how to fail with grace and beauty, there is nothing wrong with disappointment in performance as long as it leads to a positive outcome, not destruction of personal fibre and others around them.

Just a few of my CFS and BSS combat points, these of course are scaled the age of my children

• Play for enjoyment first, remember Eric Liddle in Chariots of Fire……..”When I run I feel God’s pleasure”
• Play or perform to improve NOT to win
• If you medal/score or place see it as a bonus not as the goal of the day
• If you have done your best let God take care of the rest
• You are good no matter what the score says
• If you do not practice then do not expect to excel…put the YARDS in and you will see results, what you sow you will reap
• Work always to being happy and pleased when others win and succeed!
• Disappointment with yourself is fine, do not blame others or circumstances for failure
• Recognise your limits and rejoice and accept them
• You must realise that even if life you will not always win and succeed even with God
• Failure is the biggest way to learn
• Experiences can make you BITTER or BETTER you choose

Do you have anymore CFS combat points you use for your kids???

I would love to hear them…..please leave you comment here…………..

On the flip side of my previous post “My Struggle”

There are some home truths that keep ringing in my ears………

As much as I was changed, impacted, taught and directed by my experiences in Manila, I cannot live in that experience and set up camp there. It would be an injustice and travesty to the present.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Living in the past is a dangerous place to be

Yesterday’s victories

Yesterday’s failures

Yesterday’s powerful experience

Yesterday’s destructive memories

Yesterday is NOT now……it is TODAY that matters, not yesterday

Am I making a difference today?

Am I touching people today?

Have I impacted a person for their better today?

Have I changed personally today?

Have I done anything to improve my future today?

Have I taken steps to reach out today?

Have I loved people today?

Have I been more like Jesus today?

It is not yesterday that is important, yes Baseco has changed me, has focused me, has renewed me, has developed me………

But if I LIVE  in that YESTERDAY experience I have failed TODAY.

Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day’s work absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your widest ambition.

Sir William Osler, to his students
British (Canadian-born) physician (1849 – 1919)

God help me be effective in the here and now!

God help me not make excuses!

God help me be content where you have me!

Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisel

y improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
US poet (1807 – 1882)

I have just read this article on CurricClick and Evonne kindly allowed me to repost it on my blog……if you need a laugh and an insight into the CYCLES OF HOMESCHOOL…have a read!!!

Homeschool Makeover

Does your homeschool need a “Makeover?” Are you like me in need of an “Intervention?” Can you relate to my experience?

In Preschool the “world was our oyster.”  We would homeschool when we wanted to and where we wanted.  We even homeschooled at Starbuck’s over a 2 shot soy latte, and a child’s Frappucino.  Life was good!

Then age 4 came around with a cold chill; and we decided it was time to bunker down.  Expensive DVDs were ordered; and Mom’s frown became her accessory of choice- because it was time to get serious! And serious he got.  No playgroup in the morning any more.  Baby sister had to be kept away for serious kindergarten work was occurring.  The musty storage room was turned into a school with creaky desk and all.

It went on like this for a year, until I realized “this was no fun!” The breaking point for me was when my child said to me, “you’re not my teacher, Mrs. _____ (the Video Teacher) is my teacher.” No more! I was going to be the creative Supermommy Homeschool Star that I knew was buried inside of me.  We were going to have a HOMESCHOOL MAKEOVER!

Out went the creaky desk, and in came the butterflies.  Out went the workbooks, and in came the “Magic School Bus.”  If it wasn’t hands-on, I was hands-off.  If it didn’t require a field trip, I left it out in left field.  However, in our homeschool bliss one major problem occurred.  That same child that could sit for 4 hours through a school completely on DVD, was now climbing on the walls and thought he was a butterfly when it was needed to sit and learn.  There is only so many field trips one can take to teach a kid to write his name! And this creative Homeschool Diva was ready to hang up her boa, and call the Insane Asylum.  I was so sure there was a special unit for homeschool moms who thought they could do it all!

Well, after being told I could not afford the padded walls on one income, I had to find another solution.  I needed to give our family another “Homeschool Makeover!” It was time to make a change- but how- I wanted structure back.. but I wanted creativity too. Aha! My grand solution- structure for the core classes- and creativity in all the electives.

Ah! My golden moment of clarity! All it took was a little soul searching, and my Makeover Moment happened.  Yours Can Too! It is never too late to have a Homeschool Makeover! And hey, maybe I’ll see you over a latte with your new homeschool accessory- a smile on your lips!

Evonne Mandella is the author of the “Read Hebrew Today” Series which teaches families to read the Biblical Languages in Minutes.  She is also the author of the  the Hands-on Bible Curriculum “Wholesome Learning”- a Multi-Level Bible Curriculum with a Biblical Language Focus.
Her series of Curriculum are available for instant download at currclick.com
She also can be found at www.wholesomelearning.com

I wanted to share some sermons that God laid on my heart when I was in Baseco………..that way I can remember them and record them, not that they are really profound or deep, they are really one older mum sharing and speaking to other women and like….but they may hit a cord in some one else…..God is like that

My heart often cries out for people who feel UNEQUIPPED or IMMATURE or UNSKILLED as Christians. In the world we often find that age, sex, health, education or even personality type work against us achieving goals and aspirations….but in The Kingdom things are very different………..God does not look at these kind of externals in fact He prefers not to, in some way confounding the senses of man, and using the unusable despite their abilities or lack of.

There is one example in scripture that JUMPED out and caught my attention whilst I was away it was found in 1 Chron 18:14

1 Chronicles 18:14-17 (New King James Version)

David’s Administration

14 So David reigned over all Israel, and administered judgment and justice to all his people. 15 Joab the son of Zeruiah was over the army; Jehoshaphat the son of Ahilud was recorder; 16 Zadok the son of Ahitub and Abimelech the son of Abiathar were the priests; Shavsha[a]was the scribe; 17 Benaiah the son of Jehoiada was over the Cherethites and the Pelethites; and David’s sons were chief ministers at the king’s side.

The great King David was establishing his anointed rule and reign over his people, he had a team of men he appointed to help him administer judgement and justice…they included trusted friends and advisers from his years of struggles and hiding from Saul people who had showed commitment and loyalty and most importantly love to him. These men included Joab, Jehosophat and Abimalech just to name a few………….names we have read about as they battled by David’s side.

BUT

There is an addition to these men, in verse 17 it clearly says that……DAVID’S SONS WERE CHIEF MINISTERS AT THE SIDE OF DAVID…………

The Son’s of David were elevated above the mighty men from David’s past, the men who earnt David’s trust over the years and served him faithfully. These sons became CHIEF MINISTERS, meaning simply they were the 2IC (Second in Charge) they had the highest positions in the Kingdom under David, they had authority, power and position

We can also see from this scripture that David made ALL of his sons ministers, there was no evidence that he hand picked one or overlooked another but ALL of his sons were chief ministers at the kings side.

We also see another profound picture here, his sons had access to David at all times, THEY WERE AT THE KINGS SIDE………they were granted a privilege that perhaps the other leaders did not have, they were always at the King’s side, interacting and sharing his daily issues and routine.

SO WHAT DID THESE MEN DO TO EARN THEIR POSITION AT DAVID’S SIDE?

There is no doubt that some (if not all) of these men/sons were warriors and soldiers with David in his long battle with Saul,

No doubt that they were being trained and groomed in some ways, as son’s of David

But none of them made “names” for themselves, however in contrast Joab the mighty warrior made quite a name for himself with many mighty feats and deeds.

So what qualified these young men to serve as Chief Ministers at the hand and side of King David?

Their qualification was simply this

THAT THEY WERE SONS OF THE KING!

Interestingly enough there was NO mention of the son’s

* AGE
* ABILITY
* SKILLS
* SPIRITUAL EXPERTISE
* LEADERSHIP ABILITY
* PHYSICAL ABILITY
* PERSONALITY TYPE

They earnt their position and place from their RELATIONSHIP WITH THE KING, they were his sons!

This is the key to leadership and usefulness in the Kingdom

We too minister at our Father’s side like the son’s of David, we rule a Kingdom and have authority over this world…….we are His Chief Ministers, but the key to this awesome elevation of our status is that we are son’s and daughters of the King………..but the interesting thing is that God is our FATHER/KING without each facet we would not be SONS/JOINT RULER……..each facet must “marry” to have authority and power……….Leaders such as Joab had authority and power but lacked the intimacy with the king, he was not granted to “minister at the King’s side” maybe, just maybe, he would not have made such stupid mistakes later if he was intimate with David and knew his heart!!!

This intimacy with the Father (or any parental model) is obvious when you think of your own relationship with your parents…..if you have had a healthy relationship with your parents you would have had full access to the things that belong to the parents, I do not know what happens in your family but when I go to my Mum and Dad’s house I just walk in…..I may not even knock (hey they gave me the key!!) I just walk in and go to the pantry and help myself to food, I do not even think about it!! I just do it coz I know that they are my parents and they would not deprive me if I needed it! I have open access to them and what is theirs, I have intimacy with them, if they are sick/sad or mad they tell me, we are family, that is how it is!! Also if they asked me to do something for them if it was in my power I would do it, I would listen to them if they had something to say, or advise………I would do anything to make them happy……isn’t that how family is supposed to work???????

The picture of David gives us great hope, we are given full position and authority just like his sons as we enter into his SONSHIP, it is ours through our BIRTHRIGHT, we are heirs of God, joint heirs with Jesus the Son of God (Romans 8:17). This gives us access to the KING, God Almighty…….but not as a hired hand or servant…..as a SON!!!

Interestingly enough God makes NO mention of our

* AGE
* ABILITY
* SKILLS
* SPIRITUAL EXPERTISE
* LEADERSHIP ABILITY
* PHYSICAL ABILITY
* PERSONALITY TYPE

He gives us everything including intimacy with Him and power to be who we are meant to be on the earth!

In fact I reckon that without the intimacy (without that Father/Son daughter relationship) we really have no real and lasting power or authority…………

Just some thoughts, let God be Dad and out of that relationship real power and authority will stem, life changing, impacting, soul saving power!

Bless you Cath

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When I was in Baseco God began to speak to me about this beautiful reality from Malachi 3:3-4

Malachi 3:2-4 (New King James Version)

² “ But who can endure the day of His coming?
And who can stand when He appears?
For He is like a refiner’s fire
And like launderers’ soap.
³ He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver;
He will purify the sons of Levi,
And purge them as gold and silver,
That they may offer to the LORD
An offering in righteousness.
⁴ “ Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem
Will be pleasant to the LORD,
As in the days of old,
As in former years.

What an amazing reality that our God WILL do these things to us in His infinite love and gentleness

God IS

1. Like a Refiners Fire, making us beautiful like a golden ring or diamond

2. Like a Fullers Soap (or a launderers soap) I do not know about you but when you scrub clothes by hand they become magnificently clean!We too are made magnificently clean.

3. A Purifier of Silver, he promises to purify us!

4. A Purger of Gold and Silver, not only cleaned but purged with impurities rooted out and cast into the sea

Why would He do that???

It tells us in Verse 4……that they may offer to the Lord an offering in righteousness……we offer back to Him the thing He created in us “Righteousness”…what a marvellous transaction, what a deal, what a joy

Just a little thought that I wanted to share with you….

Love Cath

There are so many sayings around that pertain to truth and seeing things as they are……………

Everything is a dangerous drug except reality, which is unendurable.
Cyril Connolly, “The Unquiet Grave”, 1945
(1903 - 1974)

Reality is something you rise above.
Liza Minnelli
US actress & singer (1946 - )

I have come to the conclusion especially in the west that we like to NOT know the truth most of the time,,,,,,,,,,,,

Baseco is a reality, Slums are a reality, People dying DAILY from simple human rights such as FOOD SHELTER and CLEAN WATER is a truth far removed from the nice 3 bedroomed brick veneer houses we live in in suburbia………..

BUT IT IS REAL

I am shocked by the some (not many I am relieved to say) who still think that we want to use their money for our own purposes and want to soften our own sacrifice and fund our own ministry here in Baseco……do they really understand the life these people live over here?

I do not think so,

Most of us are happy to stay in a COMFORT ZONE and watch these things from a distance……….believe me it is safer that way, oh yes physically there is no threat in Australia (although ask people who have suffered and been touched by injuries in car crashes, murders and rapes they would have another story even in Australia!!) and spiritually it is a nice rewarding job that may even bring in income……..

But most people in our precious world live in poverty 70% in fact……..that is 7 out of ten people, 70 out of 100, 700 out of 1000 people live with little or no food water or shelter……Christians and non Christians poverty is no discriminator.

I urge you to WANT TO KNOW…….I cannot believe that God will NOT ask us to account for these millions of people and what did we do to change their destiny and situation, we have the power in the west to MAKE A DIFFERENCE…….the power is money, and with it comes health, education and freedom………..we have to see it, we must see it……….

It is easy to ignore the images, the comments and the statistics and stick our heads in the sand and do an ostrich!!!

Humankind cannot stand very much reality.
T. S. Eliot
British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet (1888 - 1965)

Joel: That’s the movies, Ed. Try reality.
Ed: No thanks.
Ellen Herman, Northern Exposure, Only You, 1991

But the rewards are immeasurable and uncountable when you give and make a change

It does something in you and your children when you pour yourself out for others,

Live to give and bring change.

I am warped for ever

Cath

Set up as an ideal the facing of reality as honestly and as cheerfully as possible.
Dr. Karl Menninger
US psychiatrist (1893 - 1990)

I have a few moments of time to think and reflect here in Baseco…………….

Mark and Chris work here day in and day out, and they are NOT gloryhounds for sure, they are just hardworking Aussie’s with an Aussie work ethic……..no guts no gain

Having experienced their load and walked in their treasured footsteps for a month or so, our love and respect for them increase (shucks) we knew it was there………. and we have always seen eye to eye………but now we are sharing their ministry load and ministry and concerns I can only say

BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD…….they are normal but they touch the grace realm by sticking their necks out and HAVING A GO!!!

Missionaries have a BIG and FUFFY reputation, and it all sounds so romantic and wonderful doing something wild for God, BUT most Missionaries would just say they are normal Christians doing what God told them to……………believe me it is NOT romantic and you do not get an extra buzz from the job……it is hard unadulterated yakka.

I remember when we worked with African refugees for years, people would say to us “Wow that is so amazing, It must be so interesting and fantastic…..” there was always a glint of admiration and awe………even more………….I used to agree, yes it was interesting and fantastic BUT it was hard work and exhausting, the abilility to minister in another culture requires HEAPS of work and less comfort zone Christianity………….

Part of me would think when people said that “If you only knew really” not in a proud and lofty manner, but middle class white church is so different compared to the Mission Style church……….it needs to be tasted to be understood!

Mark and Chris are just normal people doing what they normally would do for God just in a different country, that is a Missionary

No glory hunting, no name dropping, no politics just Jesus

Everyone can experience it, it is just NORMAL CHRISTIANITY!!!!

Cath