Being an eternal optimist is not always a comfortable place……
Sometimes when life is a little pressured and sad no one believes that you are struggling or really wants to know
Even as I write I feel a pressure
There are many people out there who suffer in a far greater way than me, and when I think of suffering I scoff because my suffering pales into nothing as I see others in other countries and circumstances crushed by their lives
What have I got to complain about, in reality nothing.
But in many ways I am still human and feel and groan and weep……….the balance is allusive to me
I am alone but never alone
I am pained but not crushed
I feel grief but not despair
I am sad but not without joy

So many people live and die without any relief from these things, I cringe for them and weep for them
They suffer and die without consolation and healing in their hearts…….
I am a priveledged person…..
I have the Healer that heals all wounds and cares with love deeper than a man….
Nevertheless
Human and a woman, I suppose I feel and beat different to the men in my life…..
They must think I am mad, or maybe just a woman
Oh well I cannot help who I am emotion and all
I am just who I am
Just me!
Isaiah 61:3
He gave me beauty for ashes
The oil of joy for mourning
The garment of praise
For the spirit of heaviness
That we might be trees of righteousness
The planting of the Lord
That He might be glorified










































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