TooManyFlowers

My kids regularly compete in competitions in Highland Dancing and Pipe Drumming

They fare well usually but once in a while we are struck with the “COMPETITIVE FAILURE SYNDROME” (CFS)  my name!!

You know………….”Why aren’t I good enough?”, “Why does she win all the time?”, “I am just hopeless”, “I want to win a medal too”

Each of my children have gone through this CURVE,

Interestingly enough it also went hand in hand with the “BAD SPORT SYNDROME” (BSS)

You know that one too………………”I want to win!!”, “That’s not fair, she won……” , “He is such a show off”

I am challenged EACH time I am faced with the syndromes……here are some thoughts that have evolved over 17 years and a teaching background………….

As a mum my heart reaches out to my kids when they suffer from CFS or BSS, sometimes it does not seem fair that their legs do not run fast enough or they cannot step or co-ordinate as fast as another child……..their heart cry breaks my heart as they compare themselves with their peers and strangers………

BUT

As an educator and a spiritual/moral development supervisor I have a choice, I can yield to their heart cry and be sorry that their pride/self concept has been deflated or choose to use this experience as a platform to teach them what “winning” really means.

For this reason I embrace the Olympics and regularly do projects on the Olympics with my kids, I think it is great for my kids to see athletes compete to see people win and loose at this HIGH level is a treat.

Most athletes at this stage have learnt how to deal with failure they carry themselves with integrity and honour, this is a pleasure to see. What I find inspiring is the stories BEHIND the athletes…..the YEARS of training, the YEARS of sacrifice, the YEARS of pushing themselves to new heights……it is no surprise that the Apostle Paul uses the picture of an athlete to represent spiritual growth and maturation.

My dad also has had years of playing sport at a competitive level, as a league football player he has won and failed. He has coached and developed younger boys in the sport, and regularly teaches my kids the importance of winning and loosing with a GOOD spirit.

As a teacher I admit I do have mixed feelings about competition…….it can be of great good BUT great evil if not handled correctly. I have seen people permanently scarred by being forced to do sports where they ONLY failed, or were heartlessly ridiculed by peers for failure……even some who have succeeded have had scars…….I was taught that everyone should win and you make ALL children winners in their own right, you know give everyone a trophy or NO-ONE…….

BUT

I have had to come to see that in reality we work on a REWARD basis in the world/work and school system………we earn the right to go to University through study, we earn the right to promotions in work by working and performing well, we earn the right to gold medals in the Olympics by sheer hard work and talent………………

So we really must train our kids to win and be rewarded in a RIGHT WAY and also fail and be disappointed in a RIGHT WAY!!!

But there is a factor I feel we may miss in our world………

We HAVE to find where our kids are going to achieve, there is no point in making a square peg fit in a round hole, we must, we must, we must find the round kid peg for the round kid hole. We must find where our kids succeed and focus on that, help them to succeed and rise……………

I am convinced that children, boys especially, will ALWAYS be competitive, it is in their nature and even genetics!! But how they win and how they cope with failure in these early days will mould and shape who they are in the future. They need to learn how to fail with grace and beauty, there is nothing wrong with disappointment in performance as long as it leads to a positive outcome, not destruction of personal fibre and others around them.

Just a few of my CFS and BSS combat points, these of course are scaled the age of my children

• Play for enjoyment first, remember Eric Liddle in Chariots of Fire……..”When I run I feel God’s pleasure”
• Play or perform to improve NOT to win
• If you medal/score or place see it as a bonus not as the goal of the day
• If you have done your best let God take care of the rest
• You are good no matter what the score says
• If you do not practice then do not expect to excel…put the YARDS in and you will see results, what you sow you will reap
• Work always to being happy and pleased when others win and succeed!
• Disappointment with yourself is fine, do not blame others or circumstances for failure
• Recognise your limits and rejoice and accept them
• You must realise that even if life you will not always win and succeed even with God
• Failure is the biggest way to learn
• Experiences can make you BITTER or BETTER you choose

Do you have anymore CFS combat points you use for your kids???

I would love to hear them…..please leave you comment here…………..

Well this year is evolving into a new adventure in our school world

Master J  is turning 17 this year and is embarking on Year 11, wow this was a little intimidating for me personally but we were facing it bravely……I felt strongly that I was not going to sacrifice his education for my “ideal”  (please take what I am saying in the spirit It was intended) so I was constantly looking for alternatives and extensions to MY offered  school experience

Master J  has had a desire to design ever since he began to play with Lego, and scribble things and plans down ranging from “battle plans” to Sim City type games on the computer……he loved the order and the system and the geometry and the design mixed with creativity too…it is interesting he is a first born with great organisational abilities but balenced with a huge creative slant (I was exactly the same as a teen too had a great prepensity to the creative arts BUT could not bear to spend all of my to time doing it like an artist would, so decided that a teaching degree would be a great and PRACTICAL second) I was and AM such a firstborn!! So is Josh!!

So Master J set his aim on Tertiary Education and an Engineering/Design course….my course was set too….I have to facilitate with him to achieve his goal, this was something that I was NOT going to fail him in!

In my thinking it was clear,  what a shame we do all this hard work for years and not get him to an academic or social/emotional/spiritual standard to achieve and not sink in the BIG world…….that was not an option in my mind. I would find a way, I would not cease until I found something that suited my standards and family situation.

Our family situation was complicated too, missions and travel has become a big part of our lives, to me Moscow and Edinburgh Tattoos are vital and immeasurable LIFE experiences that will imprint my kids forever…..as for Manila everyone who has followed my blogs KNOW the impact that experience has had on my kids, I would not change that for a million bucks!! So school had to FIT this family choice we had made…….seemed like a toooooooo hard call……but I think that we had some help from the eye that never sleeps and loves us endlessly, His hand was in everything we did and do

Psalm 37:23-24 (New King James Version)

²³ The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD,
And He delights in his way.
²⁴ Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the LORD upholds him with His hand.

Anyway……………..

We actually ended up looking Open Access College (like long distance ed through the phone and internet hook ups)

We were initially looking for Design and Technology courses (CAD programmes etc, ) but once I saw what they offered and the flexibility that actually FITTED into my ideal (and J’s for that matter) I WAS SOLD!

WEEEELLLL was I impressed from the outset, the friendly staff and non-judgemental attitudes was only the start!

Our counsellor we saw was open and excited, she saw the work that J had achieved just from what we discussed (the Moscow Tattoo, the trip to Manila and the upcoming Tattoo in Edinburgh) she immediately began to explain that we could get credit for these LIFE EXPERIENCES that go towards his SACE score…….that excites me. Finally a “school” that was open and flexible enough to see with eyes that go beyond the 3R’s……that experiences matter, and life skills are vital to achievement in the future.

So as we were winding up with some work/books this year I decided to bite the bullet and enroll him in subjects that will give him points towards his SACE.  How exciting!! I also have the flexibility to keep plodding with the things I WANT him to learn still…….now that is what I have always wanted also.

Now Master J will relate to 4 teachers as well as me…great preparation for tertiary, but we still have a certain amount of control over the “environment” through the telephone he can still be at home in my care……how neat is that!

He will work over 3 years (maybe more) in his SACE…….and will streamline down to subjects that give him a TER score for entrance into Uni…..all with someone who KNOWS the system and can work it better than I ever could! Why 3 years and not the traditional 2, I guess why NOT?? Why the rush? Why the push? When kids like Master J have a multitude of commitments outside school the extra time is a boon……no rush and pressure either. No problem if he wants to do more mission trips either…all achievable. Besides I am convinced boys and lads are NOT ready at 17ish to make impacting life changing decisions why not leave it till later???

So he will embark on 4 subjects this semester and 2 next (coinciding with a self study unit on The Edinburgh Tattoo) which will all sow points into his SACE score……….I am relieved to tell you all the truth and encouraged that God saw my need and supplied……

Only believe homeschoolers, He is interested in the least and greatest things we attempt………

I say I am a blessed Mum and Teacher!

There is not a flower or bird in sight, only a small screen on which lines are moving, while the child sits almost motionless, pushing at the keyboard with one finger. As a learning environment, it may be mentally rich, but it is perceptually extremely impoverished. No smells or tastes, no wind or bird song (unless the computer is programmed to produce electronic tweets), no connection with soil, water, sunlight, warmth, the actual learning environment is almost autistic in quality, impoverished sensually, emotionally, and socially.
John Davy

My only hesitation as we leap into this techno savy generation is the impoverishment!!

Here are some photos of me teaching Childbirth Classes to Baseco women, my classes are a drop in the ocean, but I guess they are a start. I am seeing a light in the eye of the leaders especially, they are beginning to see the facts rather than just blindly believing the norm/traditions of the culture and learning the truth.

It makes me laugh I realise more and more that women are truly the same everywhere, that even in Australia we have tradition/stories and old wives tales……much have been eroded with education and FREE maternity care but still there are remnants. It is the same here in Manila, women because of the lack of FREE maternity care and  education, women simply do not go to the clinic or doctors and birth at home in the slum!! They believe the stories handed down from mothers and grandmothers and subject themselves to traditional birth attendants who do and say LOTS of bizarre things (although I am sure that many of them have bought hundreds of babies into the world with no real issue)

Some interesting traditions include

*No cold water during pregnancy, only warm or tepid water or better still cold RC Cola

*Eggplant is bawal (or forbidden) as it causes problems

*Eating raw eggs before labour helps the baby slip out in birth

*No washing of the baby or mother after birth because infection can go up! Mind you this may be true considering the water quality

*No garlic in pregnancy because it can curse the baby because withdoctors or Aswans use it!

There are so many I cannot remember them all!

The Hospitals/ Midwives and Doctors in Manila are seriously 40 years behind our system,  they  still use stirups and do not allow men (or anyone in I tried) in birth, the women birth alone with Old School Midwives and Doctors who tell them off for making noise or crying, they have to share beds (sometimes 4 to a bed with babies), and they have to pay for medicines usually……..what a bad deal. No wonder hundreds and thousands still birth at home.

But once I explain things they are very receptive and love it…..we do Good and bad food, the placenta, the probs in pregnancy. Normal body parts and the pregnant body, using right names and descriptions, we discuss conception and fertilization and normal body parts. We go on to comparing the good and bad parts of birthing at home and hospital…and compare them with each other I then leave it to them to decide. We look at normal birth and progess of labour, and finally baby care and breatfeeding

I try to make it as hands on as possible and we chat laugh and I answer LOTS of questions……we write and do charts and they love my baby doll and pelvis! So it is fun

We are hosting a big birthing class in the Basketball Court on the 6th  so I will talk to 100 women and have prizes and food!! It will be fun!! I think! At least we can pray for people……womens evangelism at its basics!

I am enjoying being with the women, I feel that it is a spot I can fit in…..a groove different from anyone else……so I am plodding on!!

To my dear dear readers and Homeschool friends….we have finally established some regular contact from this amazing land….despite all of James internet championing we still cannot upload photos but we can from cafes and shopping centres so I will update the blogs then, for those desperate for news here it is!!

Know this

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL!!!

MANILA 101

To all my faithful friends and readers, sorry it took so long, internet is a finely tuned beast here, we have only just mastered consistency (despite hubby’s best efforts) and as for uploading photos “phsst” a raspberry…..but we will be going to a cafe soon and will add then there. Here is our first installment……more to come

Well we are finally here!

All I can say is “I am so glad!” as soon as we touched down I was glad. As soon as I got to our new home I was glad!

TRAVEL

Packing and cleaning went well I really did not feel out of control or overwhelmed…we were met at the gate by an AMAZING taxi driver of our 12 seater bus!! He was actually a Seventh Day Adventist Missionary (short term) he talked to James the whole way to the airport then offered to pay for our fare once we got there PRAISE GOD. The kids were pumped!! Dear Dave Kenny from church saw us of on our adventure and treated the kids to a Hot Choc each (a rarity in our family!!) Our plane was delayed due to bad weather so we waited and Sarah rested she had a foul headache. Once boarded she had a quiet spew (masterfully done I must say) and was fine (poor hot choc!! and of course poor Ra)

The delay caused us to be extremely late in Sydney for the flight, we were met in customs by someone calling for the Troup family (we were not hard to miss). We all raced to the gate discovering to my horror that we left the new Dora trolley bag back at customs…oh my all her little toys!! Sarah recovered by then, hiked back to the desk and found it PRAISE GOD for fit kids!! Racing into the plane we sat huffing and puffing glad to be there and so glad they kept the plane for us!!

Mark and Marco met us at the airport with a big Jeepney, HUGE, decorated, silvery and shiny, very open and extremely noisy……cool………… we piled the bags in and jumped in and ABSORBED our first glimpses of Manila in the dark but hey still the first. There was not much we could see but we saw CARS….heard HORNS and smelt some interesting smells, admittedly NOTHING like India!! Esther was trashed by then this was after 12 or so hours of traveling and not including getting up early, she just fell asleep on my lap amidst the cacophony of noise and smells, kids are amazing!

We arrived to the welcome of our dear Nani-Christine who has worked tirelessly to get us here…..cleaned and shopped and MOVED house. Our new home is awesome (by Baseco standards at least, balcony, aircon in one room (the boys), toilet, kitchen, running water very safe and lockable too) I am happy and content

We went to bed exhausted and hot, too hot to think……and woke at 4.30am (prewarned) by the dear rooster across the road (where is a spud gun when you need one!!) like LOUD!! We had breakfast and lazed explored and absorbed…….

Our first day on our BIG adventure over, and successful.

Thanks God you are just good!

I just wanted to post these 2  Youtube videos again….I cannot stress their meaning to me and my family

Some people perhaps think I am  crazy doing what I am doing BUT this is a reality in my life

They address 2 Things in teens

APATHY

and

AFFLUENCE

My Favourite Picture Story Books

This list  has grown over the years, when I remember and have time I will add to it. Remember these are just MY favourites, some reasoning behind my choices is  sentimental, not really based on their  literary genius, sometimes  my kids just LOVED that book!! Who knows why?? But they did and still do….

1. Where the Wild Things Are…Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s story , this would have to be a trip from my past….ohhhh there is gonna be a movie too   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–N9klJXbjQ

2. The Legend of the  Three Trees (anyones retelling) a gorgeous story about destiny and our perception of ourselves and  it!

3. Beatrix Potter’s The Tale of Peter Rabbit….Ohhhh the sweet simplicity of naughty boy  rabbits getting into trouble,and just punishment!!

4. Guess How Much You Love Me by Sam McBratney, this was my Ben’s FAVOURITE book, we even bought  the bunny from America…because we loved him up to the moon and back!! This really is a beautiful book

5.The Rumpoles and The Barleys by Karen Mezek. This is a gorgeous mouse  story on being grateful and thankful for the good things we have, my copy is falling apart

6. Owen by Kevin Henkes. So cute, Owen had a yellow blanket that went with him everywhere but he has to go to school now, what is to be done ANOTHER mouse story!!

7.Amelia Bedelia by Peggy Parish. Never was there a dumber maid, but she sure does make good pie!!

8. Goodnight Gorilla by Peggy Ratman. A cute Zoo story, no words (hardly) but kids LOVE following the action…..especially Mrs Zoo Keeper

9. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill  Martin. One of the best Alphabet Books I have read, it appeals to adults!

10. Possum in The House by Keirsten Jensen….so Australian, cornflakes, the loo and more

11. The Sneetches by Dr Suess- Why not have stars on your bellies when they have thars!! Cute and kids LOVE it

12. Aranea by Jenny Wagner This is such a magnificent story about a spider, superb black and white illustrations…gorgeous

13. Owl Babies by Martin Waddle, such a cute “I want my Mummy” book about 3 baby owls who think a lot (as all owls do!!)

14.  A Very Greedy Bee by Steve Smallman. Very colourful and cute Bee story with a message

15. Little Turtles Big Adventure by David Harrison. I have included this coz it was one of MY favourite books published in 1969, if you can ever find it grab it…such a wonderful turtle  wandering adventure!

16. Stop That Ball by Mike McClintock My kids just love this story, must be the BUILDING element, one thing leads to another etc etc

Well keep checking back I will update as I remember more…….just a taste……