TooManyFlowers

My kids regularly compete in competitions in Highland Dancing and Pipe Drumming

They fare well usually but once in a while we are struck with the “COMPETITIVE FAILURE SYNDROME” (CFS)  my name!!

You know………….”Why aren’t I good enough?”, “Why does she win all the time?”, “I am just hopeless”, “I want to win a medal too”

Each of my children have gone through this CURVE,

Interestingly enough it also went hand in hand with the “BAD SPORT SYNDROME” (BSS)

You know that one too………………”I want to win!!”, “That’s not fair, she won……” , “He is such a show off”

I am challenged EACH time I am faced with the syndromes……here are some thoughts that have evolved over 17 years and a teaching background………….

As a mum my heart reaches out to my kids when they suffer from CFS or BSS, sometimes it does not seem fair that their legs do not run fast enough or they cannot step or co-ordinate as fast as another child……..their heart cry breaks my heart as they compare themselves with their peers and strangers………

BUT

As an educator and a spiritual/moral development supervisor I have a choice, I can yield to their heart cry and be sorry that their pride/self concept has been deflated or choose to use this experience as a platform to teach them what “winning” really means.

For this reason I embrace the Olympics and regularly do projects on the Olympics with my kids, I think it is great for my kids to see athletes compete to see people win and loose at this HIGH level is a treat.

Most athletes at this stage have learnt how to deal with failure they carry themselves with integrity and honour, this is a pleasure to see. What I find inspiring is the stories BEHIND the athletes…..the YEARS of training, the YEARS of sacrifice, the YEARS of pushing themselves to new heights……it is no surprise that the Apostle Paul uses the picture of an athlete to represent spiritual growth and maturation.

My dad also has had years of playing sport at a competitive level, as a league football player he has won and failed. He has coached and developed younger boys in the sport, and regularly teaches my kids the importance of winning and loosing with a GOOD spirit.

As a teacher I admit I do have mixed feelings about competition…….it can be of great good BUT great evil if not handled correctly. I have seen people permanently scarred by being forced to do sports where they ONLY failed, or were heartlessly ridiculed by peers for failure……even some who have succeeded have had scars…….I was taught that everyone should win and you make ALL children winners in their own right, you know give everyone a trophy or NO-ONE…….

BUT

I have had to come to see that in reality we work on a REWARD basis in the world/work and school system………we earn the right to go to University through study, we earn the right to promotions in work by working and performing well, we earn the right to gold medals in the Olympics by sheer hard work and talent………………

So we really must train our kids to win and be rewarded in a RIGHT WAY and also fail and be disappointed in a RIGHT WAY!!!

But there is a factor I feel we may miss in our world………

We HAVE to find where our kids are going to achieve, there is no point in making a square peg fit in a round hole, we must, we must, we must find the round kid peg for the round kid hole. We must find where our kids succeed and focus on that, help them to succeed and rise……………

I am convinced that children, boys especially, will ALWAYS be competitive, it is in their nature and even genetics!! But how they win and how they cope with failure in these early days will mould and shape who they are in the future. They need to learn how to fail with grace and beauty, there is nothing wrong with disappointment in performance as long as it leads to a positive outcome, not destruction of personal fibre and others around them.

Just a few of my CFS and BSS combat points, these of course are scaled the age of my children

• Play for enjoyment first, remember Eric Liddle in Chariots of Fire……..”When I run I feel God’s pleasure”
• Play or perform to improve NOT to win
• If you medal/score or place see it as a bonus not as the goal of the day
• If you have done your best let God take care of the rest
• You are good no matter what the score says
• If you do not practice then do not expect to excel…put the YARDS in and you will see results, what you sow you will reap
• Work always to being happy and pleased when others win and succeed!
• Disappointment with yourself is fine, do not blame others or circumstances for failure
• Recognise your limits and rejoice and accept them
• You must realise that even if life you will not always win and succeed even with God
• Failure is the biggest way to learn
• Experiences can make you BITTER or BETTER you choose

Do you have anymore CFS combat points you use for your kids???

I would love to hear them…..please leave you comment here…………..

On the flip side of my previous post “My Struggle”

There are some home truths that keep ringing in my ears………

As much as I was changed, impacted, taught and directed by my experiences in Manila, I cannot live in that experience and set up camp there. It would be an injustice and travesty to the present.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Living in the past is a dangerous place to be

Yesterday’s victories

Yesterday’s failures

Yesterday’s powerful experience

Yesterday’s destructive memories

Yesterday is NOT now……it is TODAY that matters, not yesterday

Am I making a difference today?

Am I touching people today?

Have I impacted a person for their better today?

Have I changed personally today?

Have I done anything to improve my future today?

Have I taken steps to reach out today?

Have I loved people today?

Have I been more like Jesus today?

It is not yesterday that is important, yes Baseco has changed me, has focused me, has renewed me, has developed me………

But if I LIVE  in that YESTERDAY experience I have failed TODAY.

Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day’s work absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your widest ambition.

Sir William Osler, to his students
British (Canadian-born) physician (1849 – 1919)

God help me be effective in the here and now!

God help me not make excuses!

God help me be content where you have me!

Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisel

y improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
US poet (1807 – 1882)

I wanted to share some sermons that God laid on my heart when I was in Baseco………..that way I can remember them and record them, not that they are really profound or deep, they are really one older mum sharing and speaking to other women and like….but they may hit a cord in some one else…..God is like that

My heart often cries out for people who feel UNEQUIPPED or IMMATURE or UNSKILLED as Christians. In the world we often find that age, sex, health, education or even personality type work against us achieving goals and aspirations….but in The Kingdom things are very different………..God does not look at these kind of externals in fact He prefers not to, in some way confounding the senses of man, and using the unusable despite their abilities or lack of.

There is one example in scripture that JUMPED out and caught my attention whilst I was away it was found in 1 Chron 18:14

1 Chronicles 18:14-17 (New King James Version)

David’s Administration

14 So David reigned over all Israel, and administered judgment and justice to all his people. 15 Joab the son of Zeruiah was over the army; Jehoshaphat the son of Ahilud was recorder; 16 Zadok the son of Ahitub and Abimelech the son of Abiathar were the priests; Shavsha[a]was the scribe; 17 Benaiah the son of Jehoiada was over the Cherethites and the Pelethites; and David’s sons were chief ministers at the king’s side.

The great King David was establishing his anointed rule and reign over his people, he had a team of men he appointed to help him administer judgement and justice…they included trusted friends and advisers from his years of struggles and hiding from Saul people who had showed commitment and loyalty and most importantly love to him. These men included Joab, Jehosophat and Abimalech just to name a few………….names we have read about as they battled by David’s side.

BUT

There is an addition to these men, in verse 17 it clearly says that……DAVID’S SONS WERE CHIEF MINISTERS AT THE SIDE OF DAVID…………

The Son’s of David were elevated above the mighty men from David’s past, the men who earnt David’s trust over the years and served him faithfully. These sons became CHIEF MINISTERS, meaning simply they were the 2IC (Second in Charge) they had the highest positions in the Kingdom under David, they had authority, power and position

We can also see from this scripture that David made ALL of his sons ministers, there was no evidence that he hand picked one or overlooked another but ALL of his sons were chief ministers at the kings side.

We also see another profound picture here, his sons had access to David at all times, THEY WERE AT THE KINGS SIDE………they were granted a privilege that perhaps the other leaders did not have, they were always at the King’s side, interacting and sharing his daily issues and routine.

SO WHAT DID THESE MEN DO TO EARN THEIR POSITION AT DAVID’S SIDE?

There is no doubt that some (if not all) of these men/sons were warriors and soldiers with David in his long battle with Saul,

No doubt that they were being trained and groomed in some ways, as son’s of David

But none of them made “names” for themselves, however in contrast Joab the mighty warrior made quite a name for himself with many mighty feats and deeds.

So what qualified these young men to serve as Chief Ministers at the hand and side of King David?

Their qualification was simply this

THAT THEY WERE SONS OF THE KING!

Interestingly enough there was NO mention of the son’s

* AGE
* ABILITY
* SKILLS
* SPIRITUAL EXPERTISE
* LEADERSHIP ABILITY
* PHYSICAL ABILITY
* PERSONALITY TYPE

They earnt their position and place from their RELATIONSHIP WITH THE KING, they were his sons!

This is the key to leadership and usefulness in the Kingdom

We too minister at our Father’s side like the son’s of David, we rule a Kingdom and have authority over this world…….we are His Chief Ministers, but the key to this awesome elevation of our status is that we are son’s and daughters of the King………..but the interesting thing is that God is our FATHER/KING without each facet we would not be SONS/JOINT RULER……..each facet must “marry” to have authority and power……….Leaders such as Joab had authority and power but lacked the intimacy with the king, he was not granted to “minister at the King’s side” maybe, just maybe, he would not have made such stupid mistakes later if he was intimate with David and knew his heart!!!

This intimacy with the Father (or any parental model) is obvious when you think of your own relationship with your parents…..if you have had a healthy relationship with your parents you would have had full access to the things that belong to the parents, I do not know what happens in your family but when I go to my Mum and Dad’s house I just walk in…..I may not even knock (hey they gave me the key!!) I just walk in and go to the pantry and help myself to food, I do not even think about it!! I just do it coz I know that they are my parents and they would not deprive me if I needed it! I have open access to them and what is theirs, I have intimacy with them, if they are sick/sad or mad they tell me, we are family, that is how it is!! Also if they asked me to do something for them if it was in my power I would do it, I would listen to them if they had something to say, or advise………I would do anything to make them happy……isn’t that how family is supposed to work???????

The picture of David gives us great hope, we are given full position and authority just like his sons as we enter into his SONSHIP, it is ours through our BIRTHRIGHT, we are heirs of God, joint heirs with Jesus the Son of God (Romans 8:17). This gives us access to the KING, God Almighty…….but not as a hired hand or servant…..as a SON!!!

Interestingly enough God makes NO mention of our

* AGE
* ABILITY
* SKILLS
* SPIRITUAL EXPERTISE
* LEADERSHIP ABILITY
* PHYSICAL ABILITY
* PERSONALITY TYPE

He gives us everything including intimacy with Him and power to be who we are meant to be on the earth!

In fact I reckon that without the intimacy (without that Father/Son daughter relationship) we really have no real and lasting power or authority…………

Just some thoughts, let God be Dad and out of that relationship real power and authority will stem, life changing, impacting, soul saving power!

Bless you Cath

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.

Martin Luther

I have been struggling to find a sense of beauty in this strange and different land,

It is a land where poverty, hardship and survival dominates the mindset of the people and the government.

There seems to be little emphasis on natural or manmade beauty.

What a stark contrast to the West…..where there seems to be a proccupation with the beautiful.

But today God has reminded me of His nature in this busy and introverted world, this morning I read in Job 38:22….

“Have you entered the treasury of snow,

Or have you seen the treasury of hail”

There are unseen beauties even in a place that seems devoid of beauty.

Snowflakes are invisible to the naked eye, but for those who diligently seek they will find that each snowflake is an individual masterpiece, superbly patterned and decorated.

God began to flash the treasures of Baseco in front of my minds eye,

I was humbled and encouraged.

I was reminded of  the TREASURE of children and mothers

I was reminded of a TREASURED sight…..that I have seen a glorious BLUE butterfly(nothing like the butterflies in Australia)  flying through the slums on a sunny day!

I was reminded of the glorious flowers the local children bought me on my first Sunday in Baseco, they were gorgeous pinks and reds, I was amazed that they found such TREASURES in the midst of the rubbish I was honoured to put it in my hair

I was reminded that I found a TREASURE when walking  from Gasungan with Pst Marivic, Precy and Pst Annie and we found 4 glorious PINK flowers on a path…we put them behind our ears too. They were glorious adornments for beautiful women of God.

I was  reminded of the TREASURE of a fresh smell…….

The smell of clean clothes and washing as you walk past diligent and hard working women scrubbing clothes by hand each day, when the heat and humidity makes the surrounding slum stench almost unbearable.

Then I was walking to an office in Baseco today and had to wait for a lady. I was  overlooking the garbage strewn, polluted harbour and pier, then I saw another TREASURE….. a  rainbow peeped through the dark, smoke ridden, dreary sky……the first I have seen here.

Then I looked at my emails and found the TREASURE of the Apple Tree quote…….

I realised that there is beauty everywhere, you just have to be diligent and look deeper and  harder….

But it is there!

Thanks God for reminding me!